In a partnership with Midwest Mujeres, WPR’s “Wisconsin Life” shares the stories of six women of color working to build community and better themselves in southern Wisconsin.
In another story in this series, Tamara N. Thompson shared her journey to becoming a doula and empowering people during and after their pregnancies.
As a warning to readers, this story talks about the death of a child.
==
When Tamara N. Thompson of Waukesha was becoming a doula, there was a lesson on the history of midwifery that stuck with her.
“Mama Shafia (Monroe) gave a really powerful presentation that took us back to the south. She took us back to when African people walked on this land and practiced midwifery on a very different pretense than what I had previously considered, like the midwives are a trusted pillar in their community,” Thompson reflected. “I remember being able to make the connection like, ‘Whoa, that’s where the power is.’ My bones vibrated inside my body and it was like the ancestors were telling me, ‘You’re supposed to be a midwife.'”
The student midwife and mother of 10 has now dedicated her working life to supporting pregnant people and new parents. She’s also become an advocate for reproductive justice, focusing on issues like breastfeeding at work and hospital birthing policies. She talked about this as part of a storytelling partnership with Midwest Mujeres in Madison.
“When I first took the doula training, I’m thinking about the statistics that more African American babies die than other races. I thought about how more mothers that look like me die than other races. So I thought, I need to prepare myself for one of my doula babies not making it. And that happened. It was earth shattering,” she said.
“And then, it happened to me.”
Tamara Thompson on the UW-Madison campus after recording her “Wisconsin Life” and Midwest Mujeres story on April 13, 2023. (Maureen McCollum/WPR)
Thompson gave birth to a healthy little girl, named Demara, in fall 2021.
“It was an absolute victory the way that we brought her into the world. The doulas and myself and my husband — we just we danced her earth side,” said Thompson smiling.
But when Demara was about three months old, she got sick and developed a cough. So, Thompson took her to her pediatrician.
“They did the COVID tests, the influenza test, all the things. Listened to her lungs. We thought it was the virus that needed to run its course,” said Thompson. “My baby girl died four days later.”
The shock was palpable. Thompson is an expert on taking care of babies. And her love for her daughter knew no bounds.
“How could this happen to me? That’s kind of arrogant for me to think, right?” said Thompson. “I am out there. I’m at the Capitol. I’m in Joint Finance Committee meetings. I’m advocating in these hospital boardrooms for people to have more autonomy and dignity in birth and for the nurses and physicians and all these people to think differently. I’m doing the work. But it happened to me. And it blew me away. And it changed the way that I stand up and I speak.”
During Demara’s life, she was able to join her mother at the Capitol to push for change. You can see them together in a press conference broadcast by WisconsinEye. Thompson holds her one month-old daughter while advocating for the Wisconsin Birth Equity Act, a package of bills to reduce racial inequities and eliminate maternal and newborn health disparities.
“I thought this is going to help this cause by an infant being present, right? This is what this is all about, that newborn Wisconsinites want to come into families that are equipped and ready and prepared and supported by their communities. So there’s Demara, my baby girl, in my hands while we’re speaking. It was wonderful and beautiful,” said Thompson. “I thought, ‘Yes, that’s her legacy. That’s that’s what she stands for.’ Of course, I thought I’d have a lifetime with her.”
Thompson plunged into the depths of grief after the loss of Demara.
“But (eventually), coming to the surface a little bit to say, ‘That’s what her legacy is going to be.’ I’m going to carry that fire in me everywhere I go. Every time I speak and every person I touch is going to be in that name: Demara.”
Tamara Thompson of Waukesha shared her story with us as part of a partnership with Midwest Mujeres in Madison. “Wisconsin Life” has partnered with the organization to share stories of women who live in southern Wisconsin.
The Midwest Mujeres cohort just before recording their stories for Wisconsin Public Radio’s “Wisconsin Life” on April 13, 2023. (top l-r) Yazmin Lopez, Shadayra Kilfoy-Flores, (middle l-r) Araceli Esparza, Angela Morgan, Katalina Sanchez, (bottom) Samantha Green. (Angela Major/WPR)
