When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, how do we choose to preserve the memory of that person?
Radio producer Alexandra Salmon and her mother-in-law Chris Thomas of Madison, Wisconsin have always been close. When Chris was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, Alexandra started recording some of their conversations. And on a perfect fall day, the two of them talked about Chris’s lifelong connection to Wisconsin and what she hopes to leave behind.
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“I think I’m experiencing some of the sounds in my mind. They’re sounds of little kids laughing, having fun. If I had woods like this near me, I would’ve been it.”
That’s my mother-in-law, Chris Thomas. We’re in the woods near her house in Madison, where she’s thinking about putting her memorial bench. This little piece of wildness reminds her of another park she loved as a child.
Chris Thomas as a child at Madison, Wisconsin’s Westmorland Park. (Courtesy of Alexandra Salmon)
“It wasn’t right near our house, but it was at Westmorland Park,” said Chris. “Once I was old enough to have my freedom to go down there, it was really fun. We played in a woods like this. It was a little deeper and darker than this one. But kids just fantasize, they love having places like this to come down to. We hear kids down here giggling, and playing, and it’s really nice.”
Chris Thomas, on the back of the sled, with her brothers. They’re near their garage poised to go downhill on what is now Westmorland Blvd. towards its end at Westmorland Park in Madison, Wisconsin. (Courtesy of Alexandra Salmon)
Chris is such a practical person and she has always been someone who thinks about other people first. The way she’s approaching this bench is no different.
Alexandra Salmon with her mother-in-law Chris Thomas of Madison, Wisconsin. Alexandra considers Chris a “second mom.” (Photo by Pamela Salmon)
“Can you just talk a little bit about this bench idea?” I asked her.
“It’s certainly a copy-catted idea, all over the place. I mean lots of people have benches,” she said. “I never thought of myself as someone who wanted to mark my spot or be so impressive that I had a bench. I don’t know why I thought about it except that I like the fact that there are places for people to sit. People who might not walk this trail otherwise. If they knew there was a bench every so often, they might walk it more. I think that’s a good goal, to have something out here that people can utilize. It’s my little contribution to getting people out walking, you know, especially people that wouldn’t do it otherwise.
We walked along the trail a bit more, leaves crunching under our feet. Chris stops to look around.
Chris Thomas walks a trail in a Madison, Wisconsin park. She’s thinking about having her memorial bench put in this area. (Photo by Alexandra Salmon)
“If I stand at a diagonal, I see that big tree. And that is the only really big tree, right in there,” observed Chris. “You know what, if we find a different spot, fine. But I kind of like this spot. It feels good. Yeah, I think along this trail. The other trail would get used, but it would just be sitting along a trail. And this is so pretty in here, so special. “
Chris Thomas holds a bouquet of flowers from her niece’s flower shop, Olson’s Flowers in Mount Horeb. (Photo by Alexandra Salmon)
“And really I do like those hidden benches, it’s like a surprise. You come upon it, and then you think about, ‘Who was this person?'” I said.
As we walked along, Chris said something that has stuck with me.
“One winter when I walked in the Arboretum a lot, I found a chrysalis, or something, hanging from a thread. I watched that thing all winter. Then one day, it was gone.”
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MUSIC: “Hills of Wisconsin” by Meeker & Maiden
